Poem: An angry teenager abandoned by her father

My last post about Nora Ephron’s delightful play, Love, Loss and What I Wore, described life’s trials and tribulations from women’s points of view with a sense of humor. Certain events in my life have come in to play since I wrote that and have made me think more about the message of  loss, particularly of a parent or a child.

Last weekend I attended a memorial service for a talented 19 year old young man, who sadly passed away on his birthday, May 5, at the end of his freshman year of college. There were no words to express sympathy for the loss to his mother, father and brothers. The memorial service was held the day before Mother’s Day.  I can’t imagine the grief of losing your child. The service was an incredible tribute by his friends, family, teachers and coaches celebrating his memory.

Then I was thinking about a child’s loss of a parent, not by death, but by sudden abandonment. Recently, I came upon a poem written by a young girl to her father. He abruptly left her mother and young siblings and simply disappeared without any financial or emotional support.  Her angry poem describes her sense of loss.


(Written by an early teenage daughter whose family was abandoned by her father)

He’s a mistake
No not mine
But his own
I will not take the blame
For what he has done
He has left
Cold and far
Three children cry
But he is deaf
When he chooses
He does not notice
The love he loses
He doesn’t pay
He never will
But when I say
He’s a mistake
This not my blame
For we are victims in this game

He’s the last thing I need right now
His lies and absences
Bring a frown
And tears to the eyes of many
He has left
One person cares for his whereabouts
Two may feel it in their hearts
He is blind
When he choses
He does not see
The pain he causes

The hurt
The fighting……
But he’s not our mistake

And he’s the last thing we need right now
Our life is ours
And I’m not trying to hurt him but
There’s a reason why we keep our distance
I don’t think he will understand this He does not run our emotions
He does not know our love was in oceans
The love he lost
That could have been
That should have been
He’s the last thing we need right now.

Coping with loss is not an easy path. Sometimes, as with Nora Ephron’s essays, a sense of humor helps. In other situations, just taking one day at a time seems like the only solution.

5 Responses to “Poem: An angry teenager abandoned by her father”

  1. My dad payed someone to make my mom have a car wreck not knowing I were in the car.
    I was In a coma and Paralized for Four months he left me then I saw him in a store when I was 9 and I called out to him ” Daddy” so he ran the other way.
    I chase him around for 30 min’s he finnialy stopped cursed my mom out and gave me A hug!

  2. That is really mean for you own father to do that to you and you mother. I would have been so mad at him for ding that to me and my mother. I would hate him for mainly for the rest of my life for what he did to me and mother. I am so sorry that happen to you and your mother in that car wreak.

  3. My father is still not in my life. Yes, I am 13, but he has always been there for my brother. I understand your feelings on everything.

  4. i understand you pain ever since i was born I’ve seen me dad once and he only saw me for a couple of minutes then left i lie to all my friends saying he loves me knowing inside that he dont even care if i die

  5. I’ve never seen my father ever since i was 3 years old..my mothers died in 2005 when I was 5 years old.right now I only have a picture of my father, this picture has his name and surname I tried to find information about him but I only get nothing.I am now 17 years old but still I don’t know my father..it feels like he doesn’t even want to know about me or maybe he hates me..ii really need him in my life,but if he doesn’t wanna know about me it’s okay ii understand…. (sad)