My Bragina and Geographic Jewelry
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend! The lyrics below were sung by Marilyn Monroe starring as the sexy Lorelei in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. I found the first two verses to be not only entertaining, but very insightful. Nothing quite brings a smile to a woman’s lips like a sparkling diamond, be it on a ring, a bracelet, a necklace or a tiara!
“The French are glad to die for love,
They delight in fighting duels,
But I prefer a man who lives and gives
A kiss on the hand may be quite continental
But diamonds are a girl’s best friend
A kiss may be grand… but it won’t pay the rental on your humble flat
Or help you at the automat.
Men grow cold as girls grow old
And we all lose our charms in the end
But square cut or pear shape these rocks don’t lose their shape
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend!”
My neurotransmitters were firing in strange directions today after I read Dr. DeFelice’s article comparing Brazilian “human termites” destroying forests to the massive destruction of trees in Westfield. It made me think of another type of Brazilian – the Brazilian bikini wax – which could also be described as the destruction of the female “forest”. I did some research and learned that it was introduced to N.Y. beauty salons by seven Brazilian-born sisters in 1987, and it was an instant craze. Salon stylists suddenly became expert landscapers reducing natural forests to mere landing strips or just bare turf.
The “Brazilian” inspired other below-the-belt beauty trends including “Vajazzling,” a temporary crystal tattoo placed in the bikini area and Vatooing, temporary ink tattoos for the nether regions. Some women do opt for permanent tattoos and piercings to bejewel their private parts. I was told there is a slang expression used for “piercing your hood”. Earlier I mentioned diamonds bring a smile to a woman’s lips. Call me old-fashioned, but I just don’t think our lips south of the border were meant to wear diamonds! My Bragina agrees with me. I wrote an extra verse for the song about what is geographically right or wrong about where to wear your diamonds!
Is it charming
Or rather alarming
To wear your diamonds down below
Part of the pleasure
Is showing off your treasures
And down under few would know!
In a famous interview with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, David Frost asked Burton, “How do you keep a woman happy?” He responded, “Buy her a diamond!” Elizabeth then proudly displayed her “best friend”, the 69 carat diamond Richard bought her for her fortieth birthday. It was the world’s largest diamond and was christened the Taylor-Burton Diamond, a true treasure that would never be hidden!