My Bragina and Geographic Jewelry

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend! The lyrics below were sung by Marilyn Monroe starring as the sexy Lorelei in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. I found the first two verses to be not only entertaining, but very insightful.  Nothing quite brings a smile to a woman’s lips like a sparkling diamond, be it on a ring, a bracelet, a necklace or a tiara!

The French are glad to die for love,
They delight in fighting duels,
But I prefer a man who lives and gives
Expensive jewels.

A kiss on the hand may be quite continental
But diamonds are a girl’s best friend
A kiss may be grand… but it won’t pay the rental on your humble flat
Or help you at the automat.

Men grow cold as girls grow old
And we all lose our charms in the end
But square cut or pear shape these rocks don’t lose their shape
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend!”

My neurotransmitters were firing in strange directions today after I read Dr. DeFelice’s article comparing Brazilian “human termites” destroying forests to the massive destruction of trees in Westfield.  It made me think of another type of Brazilian – the Brazilian bikini wax – which could also be described as the destruction of the female “forest”.   I did some research and learned that it was introduced to N.Y. beauty salons by seven Brazilian-born sisters in 1987, and it was an instant craze. Salon stylists suddenly became expert landscapers reducing natural forests to mere landing strips or just bare turf.

The “Brazilian” inspired other below-the-belt beauty trends including “Vajazzling,” a temporary crystal tattoo placed in the bikini area and Vatooing, temporary ink tattoos for the nether regions.  Some women do opt for permanent tattoos and piercings to bejewel their private parts.  I was told there is a slang expression used for “piercing your hood”.  Earlier I mentioned diamonds bring a smile to a woman’s lips.  Call me old-fashioned, but I just don’t think our lips south of the border were meant to wear diamonds!  My Bragina agrees with me. I wrote an extra verse for the song about what is geographically right or wrong about where to wear your diamonds!

Is it charming

Or rather alarming

To wear your diamonds down below

Part of the pleasure

Is showing off your treasures

And down under few would know!

elizabethtaylorIn a famous interview with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, David Frost asked Burton, “How do you keep a woman happy?”  He responded, “Buy her a diamond!”  Elizabeth then proudly displayed her “best friend”, the 69 carat diamond Richard bought her for her fortieth birthday.  It was the world’s largest diamond and was christened the Taylor-Burton Diamond, a true treasure that would never be hidden!

 

 

 

 

3 Responses to “My Bragina and Geographic Jewelry”

  1. This brings back fond memories of when a very good friend and i decided we were going to go visit the the J Sisters in New York to get a Brazilian. We didn’t really know what to expect; however, all i can say is we had many of glasses of champagne and giggled all afternoon afterwards. Great post. Enjoyed it very much!

  2. Several business trips with my husband to Rio de Janeiro expanded my sights to a lifestyle, shall we say, that included not only unusual piercings but a celebration of the body that we don’t typically see here. That the Brazlian wax originated there doesn’t surprise me; that there are piercings in that most delicate region does though. No wonder so many American businessmen love to learn Portuguese and stay up half the night with their “instructors” while on assignment there! Night lights take on an entirely new meaning.
    When I stroll past a jewelry store now, I promise you I’ll be eyeing
    those sparkles in a totally different way, thanks to your enlightening Bragina post.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Sexcereal: A New Breakfast Adventure for My Bragina? | The Decrapitation Society™ - October 10, 2013

    […] My Bragina urges me “Don’t be shy – give it a try!”  I remember being slightly embarrassed when I bought my first copy of Fifty Shades of Grey and started reading it on a trans-Atlantic flight.  Then I realized about half of the women in first class were reading it! By the time I bought the third book of the trilogy, it was just like paying for a cookbook – no shame at all.  But, what about a box of Sexcereal sliding towards the cashier at my local Stop and Shop?  I might have to wear dark glasses for the first purchase. Fortunately, there is a website, http://www.sexcereal.com,  for those who choose to share this secret only with their mailman.  I wonder if this cereal is rated for Mature Breakfasts Only or Parental Guidance required? […]