Sex and The Polar Vortex by Endorfina
When the temperature goes down, does your sex drive go up?
When the snow piles up to your door, are you in the mood for amour?
How does the thermometer affect lust and your libido?
What are the peak months for sex and the sperm – egg rendezvous?
Is it Winter, Summer or Fall,
Or like the I Love Paris song, is Springtime best of all?
Have some family fun with conception calculations,
Just subtract the number 9 from the your date of birth
To learn if your parents were cuddling in polar parkas,
Building castles in the sand or raking leaves with mirth!
Polar Vortex Number Four will hit the East Coast this Sunday,
March may come in like a lion,
But November may see lots of newborn babies crying!
I was born the end of January,
When my father was in the Navy,
He couldn’t be there for my birth,
Which my mom says drove him crazy.
I was six months old when we first met that July,
My sister was born nine months later on a sunny day in May.
Dad had written to the President for a special leave,
To see his second daughter’s birth, they gave him a reprieve.
The Navy, not the weather, controlled the dates of our conception.
My baby brother, however, was the family exception.
Santa’s Christmas countdown began two years later in December,
His August birth at 11 pounds was a record breaking weight to remember!
So take the month you were born dressed in blue or pink,
Subtract 9 to find your conception date,
Please let me know what you think.
I hope you are prepared for the Polar problems on the horizon,
Light your fireplace and warm up your libido as temperatures drop outside,
Vortex sex could be a fun roller coaster you might like to ride!
“Sex is like snow – you never know how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last!”