The Power of Men’s Quest for Orgasms
Sex is like fire: It can warm up your home or burn it down
Sex is everywhere- more free than ever profoundly affecting every walk of life from conception to the graveyard or, increasingly, the crematorium. Chlamydia and pornography are now an integral and rapidly expanding part of our culture with no end in sight.
The mainstream media intentionally avoid coverage of sex and its ramifications simply because they woefully lack experience and know-how. Because of this, they are justifiably fearful to tread into unknown waters, and I don’t blame them. I would wager that the majority of pundits and media stars who, for example, write editorial articles for even prestigious publications or host television talk shows have far less sexual experience than many teenage guys and gals let alone with the multiple drugs taken by them during sexual encounters. When they do cover sex issues it’s usually about scandals where the man is labeled as the bad guy, and the woman invariably escapes criticism or is portrayed as a victim and not a manizer. And this lopsided, biased coverage and its message to men is what this article is all about.
Before we get to this let’s take a brief, persuasive look at the nature of man’s sexuality and how it is being distorted. Ask yourself when was the last time you read or heard that men are far, far hornier than women? I, for one, can’t remember when. A core and highly impactful message of the feminist and women’s liberation movements is that women are as horny as men driven by sexual fantasies equal to those of men. This message spread like wildfire and women, particularly the young, bought into this. There’s, however, one problem with it. It’s not true! Not even close!
The wonderful, recent world of photojournalism has revealed detailed secrets of the animal kingdom including patterns of sexual behavior. For example, during copulation, the big female, guillotine-like Preying mantis bites off the head of the much smaller male and, would you believe, that after the decapitation, not decrapitation, the little guy speeds up his stroke rate. For about three months before the bull bison finds his mate his sexual hormones begin to flow. But instead of seeking her out he, over that three month period, attacks his rivals sometimes killing his competitors or is killed himself. Battle worn, he finally enters the herd to find his mate. After finding her, he mounts her and in less than fifteen seconds while having his orgasm he releases his sperm and walks away- forever. All that I can say is that I’m happy as hell that I’m not a bison! Now let’s take a look at the poor innocent male lion and the price he pays in his quest to achieve orgasms. When the female is in heat it is estimated that she can have hundreds of orgasms over a couple of days. Enviable creature! In the initial phases the male is mightily enjoying himself but his energy capacity soon diminishes. I’m sure that many of them croak from heart attacks either during or after the act, and that’s probably why there are fewer male than female lions!
Now on to man and what has been said about his sexual character:
-Plato labeled the state of erection as, “Divine madness” and it can be “Disobedient and self-willed”.
-Yiddish proverb: “When the prick stands, the brains get buried in the ground.”
-My old neighborhood saying, “The pecker has no conscience.”
-One of my inspiring high school teachers once asked the class, “Why do you think there are far more female prostitutes than male ones? Before you answer I can tell you it has nothing to do with perfume.”
– In the Greek dramatist Aristophanes’ play, Lysistrata, she, by the same name, offers a solution to stopping war by stopping having sex with men. (Frankly speaking, I would suggest doing the extreme opposite)!
– I read somewhere that during World War II there was an epidemic of venereal disease, including syphilis, among German soldiers. It happened after they invaded France and arrived in Paris where they partied with disease-carrying prostitutes. As a remedy, Hitler ordered the production of ready- to- love portable silicone, blue-eyed dolls for the soldiers, but the latter refused to carry and make love to them. The reason? They would have been big time embarrassed if taken prisoner.
Though the message behind these quotations is self-evident we can turn to modern science for confirmation. Researchers at Northwestern University, using the fMRI or functioning magnetic imaging which locates metabolically active parts of the brain, determined what parts of the male brain reacted when exposed to the seven deadly sins- pride, envy, greed, anger, gluttony, sloth and lust. Since lust is not part of our common modern vocabulary it’s mainly the male’s drive to have sex with a woman in order to have an orgasm. They found that specific parts of the brain were activated when exposed to six of the sins. The exception, as you probably have guessed, was lust. When exposed to this sin the entire brain lit up! (Before I forget, in another study, when discussing politics, only the emotional part of the brain lit up. More about this in future articles).
Often times a simple story gets to the heart of the matter and spells out the facts more clearly than that of a detailed doctorate thesis. A mom, while on her knees lifted her son from the bathtub and while drying him off in the genital area saying sweet things, is hinterrupted by him. Pointing to his penis he asks, “Mom, is this my brain?” Caught off guard and trying to collect her thoughts, she paused and then answered, “No. Not yet!”
Hold your breath because I’m going to reveal to you what drives men to seek their sexual relief. It’s women! Never before have they looked so attractive, sensual and inviting- and they are everywhere from the coffee shop to photos on the cell phone. Over the years a number of my women friends have insisted that women who employ modern “beauty” enhancers do so to primarily impress other women. This is undoubtedly true to a certain extent but it’s also an attempt to flaunt their femininity and sensuality to men. And isn’t that what they are supposed to do? The evolutionary female DNA is programmed to attract males in order to propagate the race by doing what is necessary to make it happen.
So what’s my point: Today with the dramatic reduction of the traditional shackles placed on the sexual act where now just about anything goes, men are now caught in what in legal terms is termed “Entrapment”. It’s analogous to a starving man and the woman is the meal. And the man, trying to do what nature drives him to do, is blamed and the woman escapes unscathed.
Examples of this pattern are plentiful. I won’t name names but the following are some recent ones: a female secretly videos herself with a famous, married football player and releases it to the media; a married president has a form of sex in his office and the information is released; an attractive woman consents to go the hotel room of a famous, tough boxer whereupon he rapes her. It becomes public knowledge, and he pays a legal price; a famous married golfer had affairs with multiple women and many of them told the media about him; A married Governor disappears to meet his lover woman in a foreign country, and it becomes public knowledge; a married presidential candidate is accused by a number of women of having hanky-panky with him and tell the media about it; and more recently a young television guy is accused of rape by female who, when questioned, stated she had “sexual amnesia” and didn’t remember it happening. She caused lots of damage to the guy but went on her merry way, unscathed.
Now here’s the message: Invariably the man has been the target of attack and the women who knew what they were doing and who consented to have hanky-panky with the men were not at all criticized. The fact of man’s sexual drive for orgasmic relief, like the wild bull, and how women can easily fuel that drive was rarely mentioned. The crap took center stage and the decrapinistas, particularly the males, were nowhere to be seen. The latter were terrified to speak out for fear of being severely criticized and sent to purgatory for a long, long time.
Let me tell you a revealing story that happened not too long ago. Remember when a fighter who raped the gal who consented to visit with him in his hotel room was sent to jail? Virtually all media agreed on the rightness of the verdict except the elderly ladies in my Old Italian neighborhood including my mother who was a very wise and kind woman with women liberation inclinations- even in those days! One night in Philadelphia, I met about a dozen of them at a delightful Italian dinner reunion. That night the ladies were alive and in good form. They ate their pasta and whatever else and drank their wine. It was a happy and upper group until the fighter’s story came up and the mood of the ladies dramatically shifted gears. One of the silver- haired ladies, obviously upset- and I still remember the exact words- boomed out, “What the hell was she doing in his hotel room anyway? Did she expect him to ask her how she made her goddamn meatballs, and what was her goddamn recipe?” The ladies all nodded their heads in agreement. She should have known better. In other words, particularly with a tough guy, she should have known about the power of the orgasm, and they believed she shared in the responsibility of the rape. They knew that the “Divine madness” is a huge factor to be considered in making behavioral judgments when sex is involved. Can you imagine these grandes dames on the television show, The View? What do you think would happen?
For the record, there have been periods, even in patriarchal societies, where men and not women are held responsible for their transgressions but they are relatively few. In Deuteronomy of the patriarchal oriented Old Testament it is written,
“Cursed is the man who sleeps with his father’s wife…
Cursed is the man who has sexual relations with an animal…
Cursed is the man who sleeps with his sister…
Cursed is the man who sleeps with his mother-in-law…”
But a woman is not cursed for having sex with her mother’s husband or an animal or her brother or father-in-law!
In early Christianity, St. Augustine blamed mortal sin on Adam even though it was Eve who tempted and entrapped the poor guy with her “apple”. (Notice where the fig leafs are located).
You may wonder what led us to our never- before- in- magnitude cultural acceptance of the blameless women in sexual affairs? In fact, in other sectors of our society women have also been granted advantages over and above those of men such as in education and the workplace. The answer is that there is no clear single driving factor. As you all know modern technology is both tearing down old established traditions and creating new, never experienced ones. It has many faces and is expanding into other types of personal relationships which impact remains to be seen. For both social and economic reasons the media became the champions of the women’s liberation movement including blaming men in controversial sexual encounters. There are many reasons why. For example, our educational system, about a half of century ago, largely staffed by motivated women teachers, out of self -interest- and I’m all for self- interest-energetically begun to educate both female and male students on the justification of the movement. Many of these same students who are now adults in all walks of life from local communities, corporations and government to regional and media have accepted the blameless women concept among other feminist messages.
So what are men supposed to do to justify the fact that it takes two to tango and women play a large part in enticing men to the bedroom and bear equal responsibility? Unfortunately, it is so imbedded in our culture that it takes a national movement to bring about change where the manizer factor is considered in certain social and legal sexual controversies. Also, unfortunately, unlike women who are superb organizers on social issues, men are not. It is not in their nature which leads us to an immediate, albeit limited, solution- the Sexual Disclaimer Contract where the conditions of a particular sexual relationship are defined. Some have attempted to promote pre-sex contracts but the impact has been very minimal. To have this contract readily available on a national level is not an unthinkable proposal for we are now living in a litigious, contract- oriented country. In interpersonal risk situations there are now marriage, divorce, co-inhabitation and a myriad of all types of social contracts, so why should partners be uncomfortable with one that deals with another type of sexual risk?
Attached is a prototype Sexual Disclaimer Contract which, with the help of your lawyer, can be modified to a particular situation. For the record, most of the lady snitches that I’ve come upon are white. It appears that women of Afro-American, Asian, Hispanic and other cultures are reluctant to snitch.